Interruptus Gesticaticus

The sloppy title hopefully gives it away - I have been absent from my inept attempt at blogging due to a sudden onset of gestation!

Which is pretty weird since a) I am not married (no biggie there), b) I was on birth control when I got knocked up, and c) I haven't done this in more than a decade - the youngest around here is eleven.  But, the more the merrier, etc, and onward we go, if a bit green around the gills and way too old and tired to enjoy the joke yet.

On the job front I am keeping this schtum, mainly since, haha here's more irony, I am something of a role model in my GAL role and perhaps an unwed, unplanned, late in life pregnancy won't be well met in my court or with my other coworkers.  This isn't too easy with my often twelve hours straight through court days where I now MUST take pee breaks (and no one else including the judge ever does).

The job is already a bit tense, since I may be having my pay cut significantly as my job splits in the new year.  My current job is both GAL and delinquency defense, and frankly, I have too many clients to be ethical at either job; new state laws regarding GAL standards have put the onus on me to inform the court of this overage of clients.  I have done so and the solution is apparently to split the job (which is needed very badly, not only due to head count but also due to raging conflicts of interest that are coming up in at least one-fourth of the cases - call it small town, everyone knows/screws/deals/perps together or on one another - a very sick version of Cheers).  The bad news is, the county can't pay me my salary and still actually pay a delinquency defender...so instead, my pay gets cut.  Gotta figure out some way to make the numbers crunch in a way that doesn't leave us homeless with a newborn. 

I might add here, with every understanding that I begin to sound pitiful, I also have no health insurance outside COBRA from my divorce ($$$$) and no time off unless I pay a replacement.  I'm a contract employee, which I now understand to mean "screwed."  There is a job on the horizon which I could take, one which would give me insurance and time off and the whole normal spiel, but it would be far less flexible than my current setting, where I have some ability to work from home at least. 

In spite of all the shocking and/or nearly Dickensian sounding news here, I am pretty happy and the kids are thrilled that we will have a baby next year.  Who knew this was the direction we would take, with one graduating and leaving for college in 2012?  What fun, to have a small one again! 

Typed while munching broccoli and carrots and swigging back not rum and diets but Crystal Light ;-)

Workload

My workload is at a crazy level.  I have a number of cases that I consider way beyond what can ethically be handled - 273 at this time.  I am working a court day this week (four for the week today, but one specifically bad ones) that I anticipate will run from eight a.m. to ten p.m. 

Yes, you read that right.

And, we don't take breaks.  Not for lunch, not to pee.  Well, that is  a slight exaggeration.  At around three or four in the afternoon we will have a twenty minute break - but I won't, because during that time we do the adoption docket and I am on those too.

I sound complainy again, and I am in fact complaining, but I am also wondering - is this the normal working day for an attorney?  Tomorrow I will have what I think of as a normal day - eight to five in court with a lunch, then two hours of phone conferences on the drive two and from.  Oh, and at least two hours after the kids are in their rooms for the night, prepping for the nightmare day described above. 

The day after nightmare day, I will have a half day of court and then six hours of phone conferences.  Thursday will be all day phone conferences and meetings, no court appearances, and then Friday I have two half day trials - that's the easiest day of my week.

I knew I would work many hours as an attorney, but I truly had no idea that any court worked fourteen hour days with no breaks.  Anyone else in that situation?

Difference, Part Two

So yesterday's post was pretty bleak, and today's won't be much better.  Basically, my kids and my job are both going well - so I almost feel bad complaining.

However, my dad had very emergency surgery earlier this week, following the discovery that his heart issues, known since last year but inoperable due to his very poor healthy, were at a near fatal level.  It was scary and very stressful, but he came through as well as could be expected.  I'm hoping he will bounce back - but there is now a spot on his lung and poor lung functioning awaiting him, after he recovers from a partial heart transplant.  So.  That's that.

And, boyfriend's daughter is making some choices that I can't allow in my home.  He is holding her accountable so far, but I fear that is temporary.   And if that's the case, I can't do anything but boot her - because my kids come first for me.  That will hurt, for me, for him, and I honestly think worst of all for her, because she is a hot mess right now and needs stable, good role models. 

So things are not so dandy right now - medical and personal stress almost overwhelmed me till last night, when I decided, no.  This is not going to beat me.  I survived domestic violence and heartbreak and loss; I made a happy life for me and my girls.  Parents die (that's hard to type) and men come and go, but my life is mine to make a good place. 

That's my attitude today.  Or, it's what I am faking till I feel it.

what a difference a week makes

Future Doc and SnarkyTeen are owners of a car.  My dad is the owner of a new partial heart.  And I am considering booting boyfriend and all that comes with him.

Drowning

...

After a very unexpected four day "break" from work (family medical crisis, not yet resolved and very scary), I am drowning in a) papers, b) motions to file and c) laundry.  In that order.

Ethics versus politics

My "boss" is the Juvenile Officer.  Well, not really, because I am a contract worker, hired as required by my state, by the county and not any agency.  But, in practical day to day operation, my "boss" is the JO.  The JO is an incredible person, knows a ton, and should be an attorney (but isn't).  The JO is also very very Type A, in a way that is increasingly causing the movement on cases to slow to a dead halt. 

So, up till the last three months, the JO and I have had a cordial (not close) working relationship.  I pretty much always agreed with her, perhaps due to my own newness at the job and perhaps due to trusting her knowledge on cases.  Recently I have begun to be more independent in recommendations, as required by statutory changes.

The independence plus success of many of my recommendations has become a really big problem, it seems.  My relationship with the JO has soured to almost nonexistence.  This is fine with me personally, but politically and perhaps even in terms of keeping my job, it is bad news.

This is scary.  I have four kids depending on me to have a job in a bad economy, and the job I have barely pays the bills.

At the same time, statutory requirements of my position are clear, and so are my own personal ethics; I cannot change the things I am doing.

Advice welcome.

Columbus Day - really?

Most of the world still works on this day, right?

But court employees don't.  And bankers.  And post persons. 

Columbus did claim to discover a land already happily occupied by native Americans, right?

OK.  Just checking.

Is there some shopping attached with this holiday?  What would be appropriate?  Those weird fake totem poles?  Maybe some Indian corn in light of Halloween coming? 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachoo

No room for a cold in my job.  But I have one.  Misery and tissues and nonstop cold meds.

It's hard to be green

...and practice law.  Even with my state encouraging e-filing, and many (almost all) of my documents coming to me through email, I have so many paper docs!  Miss Strong-Willed Chef is quite the Greenie, and somewhere along the way she has convinced me to be more green, too.  So, imagine my frustration with the continual flow of papers, mainly court orders, in paper format.  Not only is this NOT green, NOT necessary (email would suffice for these too!), it is very space intensive.  I currently have SEVEN file cabinets full of paper docs. 

You might think that isn't so bad...but then, recall, I have been in practice for one (1) year.

I am starting to dread seeing the many envelopes arrive, stuffed full of necessary information in unnecessary paper format.

Practicing Law

It's a practice, not a perfect.  Yet, the ethical standards of representation are always increasing - see the USSC Padilla decision for a recent change that will have huge implications on things like advising on sex offender registration and mandated hard time, as well as the immigration consequences the decision addresses directly.

At the same time, we all know attorneys who aren't even hitting (or aiming for?) the minimums of professional courtesy.  The men who call fellow attorneys "honey" or "sugar" because they are women.  The women who flirt a little too freely with judges hoping to curry favor.  The attorneys who bully other professionals on a case - most often in my experience, children's division/DFS workers, secretaries, and therapists. 

These aren't necessarily board reportable or ethics complaints, but they are for sure a big problem in the field.  There is nothing at all wrong with being a fierce advocate for your client; there is something very wrong with using your power to insult or demean others. 

I saw this yesterday, when a fellow attorney in a family support team meeting stepped over the ethical boundaries of approaching a represented party, and then proceeded to call her "honey" and bully social workers who tried to shut down his incredibly unethical and unprofessional behavior. 

So, service message here is - if you wouldn't treat your mom or dad like that, you might want to think twice before you do it to another profession, to a client, or to a judge.

Getting drunk on hand soap

My work gives me all kinds of new info.

You can get a DUI level alcohol reading from consistent use of antibacterial soap and Nyquil.

You can be positive for meth if you use Sudafed at recommended levels.

Good parents occasionally lock the cabinets and the fridge so kids can't get food.

Hot pants are appropriate court attire, especially if coupled with a long scarf and a bolero hat.

It is entirely acceptible desirable to keep your man from other's by Facebook threats, and even more so when you have been ordered to have no contact with that man by the family court judge who can and will take your child away permanently if you continue in the relationship.  Bonus points if the man brain damaged your infant and you can see it as "disciplining" a six month old.

Just some parenting thoughts for the new world.

And Dog, and others

We have a dog.  She's good but she barks alot and eats underwear. I got her from my law school husband, who was worried about me running alone with a stalker (yep.  you read that right.), and who also wanted to get rid of his dog because he never walked her.

We have some other people in our "cast" of life.  Running Man has another daughter, Hippy Hula.  She's twenty and pregnant.  I have a close friend, Purse Girl.  She loves purses and went to law school with me.  We have exes, and I won't bother naming them because I don't want to mess with them at all.  There are others.

But, enough of that.  I'm bored with it.  I had two trials today, back to back, and now I'm ready for a day of peace.  I doubt I will get one though because it just never seems to work that way.

Today I won a big trial - and it was a big mistake in a way.  I am really glad I got my delinquent off the clearly fabricated allegations he faced.  BUT, and this is a big ongoing issue - I work for the Juvenile Officer as GAL and then I am directly adversarial to her in my other role with delinquents.  I don't love that and I don't think I am good at it, so today, winning, was a big deal.  I could tell she didn't like it.

So, I did my job well and that was a bad thing.  Makes it hard to revel in victory.

And then there were...

Two new additions to our household: RunningMan and VolleyballGirl.

RunningMan is my boyfriend of almost a year.  He has taken up residence with me and my girls this year, after much soul searching by both of us.  We are both newly divorced, so this felt quick, but at the same time, we are both old, so what is the reason to wait, really?  We both run, and sometimes do so together.  RunningMan is kind and thoughtful (most of the time - he is a man, after all).  He has a crazy ex to rival my crazy ex, but he also has a good heart.

RunningMan and I met online on a dating site.  This is almost pitiful to admit in some circles, but it is a fact.  He is adjusting to the house and the kids really like him.

RunningMan brings with him a fifteen year old daughter, VolleyballGirl.  VolleyballGirl is pretty troubled right now due to several things: she doesn't see her mom ever, by her choice; her boyfriend (or ex, depending on the day) is in juvie; she is going through a social crisis and no longer hangs out with her friends; and generally she is also a fifteen year old girl.  I love her as one of my own in some ways, but in others we are still getting accustomed to each other.  She's here to stay though, so expect to hear about her.

VolleyballGirl brings a new dynamic to our once fairly stable set of four girls.  She seems to alternate between Doctor and Sarcasma, which sometimes causes strife.  I hope these issues begin to smooth out some, although I will quickly admit they are not going to disappear.

That's all for now.  Time to go save some kids from the evil juvenile officer...

And the introductions continue

Today I'm going to try to finish introducing my family, while under the influence.  I had a root canal this morning, so I have some nice happy meds in this afternoon.  Hope I don't, say, forget a child or something.

Daughter, age 30 12, StrongWilledChef.  Some in the house might just call her brat. She is a musician, and has a dream (which she's had since age eight) of owning an Italian restaurant, where she will stroll through playing her violin as her Italian food delights simmer in the kitchen.  And, she's very organized - she has a backup plan while her restaurant is taking off.  She will author a book in the interim, to pay the bills.

SWC is complicated.  She is the most giving kid, at times, and then at other times she is almost intolerably hateful.  She is  the child who will never be peer pressured - but sometimes this makes her social life nonexistant.  She's ok with that.  SWC amuses herself.  She reads a lot, and writes more.  She's self-sufficient, and has been very set in her ways since birth, if that is possible.  She was my hardest baby, but I bet she will be the most stellar adult imaginable.

Daugher, age 11, Fashionista Athlete, is the heart of the group.  She's sweet and loving and supportive eighty percent of the time.  She loves people, and when she loves you, boy do you know it.  She hugs a lot, and is the first one to take care of anyone who is hurting.  She loves basketball, but is not good at it; her deal is encouraging her teammates and being part of a group. 

She also loves to run and does so with me and with a group of lady runners.  She identifies herself as a trail runner, and a basketball player, and a future actress, in that order. She's not a scholar, and she has organization challenges.  Her room is always a mess; she often forgets to turn in homework.  Her shoes are untied as often as they are tied and her glasses always have smudges.  None of this seems to phase Fashionista.  She is laidback, and has been since her birth.

Tomorrow: Boyfriend and one of his daughters.  If I get ambitious I will try to get both his daughters and the dog in.  For now I am stoned on pain meds (legal and prescribed) and tired after oral surgery, so I am going to call this a wrap.  Peace out.

Here's....the GAL.

Hi.  I'm the GAL.  That means I am a full-time attorney representing kids who are abused, neglected, or the product of an otherwise unsafe household (yes, you could read that as a house full of methheads and be accurate).   I was 1LWannabe and JDWannabe, previously.  I was also an advertising exec, a SAHM, a homeschooling mom, a nonprofit founding board member, a CASA volunteer, an ice cream parlor worker, a county clerk voter registration specialist, a nurse, a church volunteer, and an Indian chief.

OK, I lied about one of those.  You caught me.  I was never a nurse.

I have a rather complicated life (but who doesn't right?).  Four kids, to be introduced here and in the sidebar.  One sorta step-ish daughter living in the house and one living out of the house, also more on them below and in the bar.  A boyfriend/live-in.  An ex-husband. Some friends.  A stalker.  Yeah.  You know, the everyday American family.

Today's victims of GAL intro:

Daughter, age 17, from this point on known as Doctor Girl.  Obviously, or I hope obviously (and if not, please go back to first grade for context clues 101), she wants to be a doctor when she grows up.  Which, I must admit only here in anonymity, she really has almost already done.  She's smart.  She's sassy.  She's witty.  She's bisexual.  She's got great hair.  And she hates oranges.

Doctor girl is the epitome of calm, cool, and corrective. She is always ready, always prepared, always wry with her humor, and always correcting others.  Including me.  I love her so much, and in fact, I admire almost everything about her, but she has definitely taught me why I as first-born am so annoying.  It's that "I know things you don't" air about us first-borns. 

Sadly, she is usually right.  She knows about biology, and chemistry, and other sciency things.  She's a whiz at calculus and she can paint a great room.  She is just about perfect, I would say. 

Victim 2 is Daughter, 16, now known as: SarcasticBeauty.  Yes, you got it again in one.  She's gorgeous, and she's sarcastic.   It's almost more than I can stand, looking at this one who resembles me, but pretty.  She has all the boys calling, and yet, sarcasm prevails and she treats them with disdain.  (This is because of CollegeFreshman Boy, more on him later.  Maybe.)

Sarcastic Beauty, or Sarcasma for short, is nothing like Doctor Girl.  She is not bookish, nor is she calm.  She has a loud laugh, and a wide love of people.  She's a photographer, and loves to catch those funny expressions people hate to see posted on Facebook.  She's never sad or mad for long, which is nice, since she had a very scary heart diagnosis last year, requiring surgery and ongoing care.

Sarcasma is not sporty, but she is usually at every game for every person in every school in the metro.  This is because she is afflicted with SocialButterflyitis.  We are working with medicine (cold Snapple) and seeking counseling (heavily attend Jerseylicious viewings).  But to date, her Butterflyitis is winning. 

Sarcasma is trying to earn a driver's license.  Watch out world.  Especially those of you on the sidewalks, or say, in buildings.

Tomorrow's episode shall feature two or three new victims for introduction...stay tuned!

Testing one, two, three

I sure hope this works out better than last time, when my ex thought he would spam my blog daily.