So yesterday's post was pretty bleak, and today's won't be much better. Basically, my kids and my job are both going well - so I almost feel bad complaining.
However, my dad had very emergency surgery earlier this week, following the discovery that his heart issues, known since last year but inoperable due to his very poor healthy, were at a near fatal level. It was scary and very stressful, but he came through as well as could be expected. I'm hoping he will bounce back - but there is now a spot on his lung and poor lung functioning awaiting him, after he recovers from a partial heart transplant. So. That's that.
And, boyfriend's daughter is making some choices that I can't allow in my home. He is holding her accountable so far, but I fear that is temporary. And if that's the case, I can't do anything but boot her - because my kids come first for me. That will hurt, for me, for him, and I honestly think worst of all for her, because she is a hot mess right now and needs stable, good role models.
So things are not so dandy right now - medical and personal stress almost overwhelmed me till last night, when I decided, no. This is not going to beat me. I survived domestic violence and heartbreak and loss; I made a happy life for me and my girls. Parents die (that's hard to type) and men come and go, but my life is mine to make a good place.
That's my attitude today. Or, it's what I am faking till I feel it.
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