1) People cry, or yell (at their lawyer, at other parties, at the judge - you name it!), or stare into space like they don't know they are in court.
2) Parties come to court drunk or high. Yes, this happens, and yes, if I suspect it, I will ask for an immediate, same day, urine drop. And yes, the judge will order it, because believe it or not, we have seen it many times and you aren't fooling us. Those pupils, your breath, your tweaking, the slow response time, and many other involuntary clues give you away.
3) Hearts break - and even though you might not think your judge or the social worker or the GAL or your attorney have emotions, some of us will cry all the way home to release the emotions of participating in your case. We know your heart, or your child's heart, or other parties in your family or close friends are hurting, so we will hold our own emotions until you are gone.
4) You are right that most of the court employees and attorneys know each other. We have lots of cases together, in most cases, and we have relationships outside of the proceedings - sometimes good ones, and sometimes not so good. Sometimes those relationships do affect how cases end up. It should not be that way, but it does happen.
5) The attorneys and sometimes the judges have "gallows humor" privately. It's our way of sloughing off some of the stress that comes with being involved with dozens or hundreds of sad, horrifying, angering or tragic cases. If you happen to see attorneys and judges laughing together, it is not at you - it is at ourselves, really. We are very aware of the heavy role we play in the lives of real people.
6) Many parents or guardians don't have attorneys, and fall into a grey area where they might technically have difficulty getting a court appointed attorney due to owning a house and having a job. Ask the judge or the juvenile officer for a detailed form that also considers your debt, if you want an attorney appointed by the court.
7) On that note, there is a trend I am noticing of people not wanting a court appointed attorney because of the idea that if the attorneys know other attorneys on the case, they won't zealously represent a party they are appointed to. While this might be true occasionally, far more often the attorney having good relationships with other attorneys and court personnel is extremely helpful to the parent or guardian they are representing. If I were a parent involved in an abuse or neglect case, I know who I would want as an attorney and as a guardian ad litem for my kids - and all of those attorneys practice exclusively in the CAN courts, and they know each other and the regular faces quite well. I would never hire an attorney who didn't practice regularly in the CAN courts.
8) Child abuse and neglect cases are a very specialized kind of court proceeding. If a party hasn't been to court before, then it might not be shocking, but for those who have been to court on DUIs, divorces, traffic tickets, and the like, a CAN court can be quite offputting. The rules of evidence are often different, and the cases are often very prolonged, with many hearings through the life of a case. More people talk in our cases, and the judge often directly questions kids and parents about how things are going. As noted above, a party can be ordered to drug and alcohol testing directly from a hearing; some courts have testing available right at court so that it will happen immediatly.
9) Children often attend the hearings. If yours do, please be calm and don't approach them if the court order doesn't allow for it. It will only upset them-and make trouble for you also. Please don't curse or be disruptive, and please remember that your child is stressed and traumatized by this whole ordeal also. Please?
10) Parties come to court dressed in inappropriate clothes, makeup, shoes, hair. This is my last point but it's a crucial one. When you appear in court, you should wear clothing that covers you. No shorts, no sleeveless, no wife beater tanks, no super short skirts, no crazy weird hair or makeup, no slits or cleavage, and no drooping pants. Think church clothing, or something you would go see your grandmother in - anything that helps you choose clothes that won't get you thrown out of court. I have seen people (even my child clients) be removed from court or be taken to the jail to put on jail clothes temporarily so the hearing can go on. If you attend court in a super short skirt and a midriff baring shirt with a spackle of makeup and high high heels, you are sending a message. It may not seem fair, but if you look like that, or you wear a wife beater and droop your pants - it's hard to take you seriously. It's on you to project the image you want us to receive.
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