Hi. I'm the GAL. That means I am a full-time attorney representing kids who are abused, neglected, or the product of an otherwise unsafe household (yes, you could read that as a house full of methheads and be accurate). I was 1LWannabe and JDWannabe, previously. I was also an advertising exec, a SAHM, a homeschooling mom, a nonprofit founding board member, a CASA volunteer, an ice cream parlor worker, a county clerk voter registration specialist, a nurse, a church volunteer, and an Indian chief.
OK, I lied about one of those. You caught me. I was never a nurse.
I have a rather complicated life (but who doesn't right?). Four kids, to be introduced here and in the sidebar. One sorta step-ish daughter living in the house and one living out of the house, also more on them below and in the bar. A boyfriend/live-in. An ex-husband. Some friends. A stalker. Yeah. You know, the everyday American family.
Today's victims of GAL intro:
Daughter, age 17, from this point on known as Doctor Girl. Obviously, or I hope obviously (and if not, please go back to first grade for context clues 101), she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. Which, I must admit only here in anonymity, she really has almost already done. She's smart. She's sassy. She's witty. She's bisexual. She's got great hair. And she hates oranges.
Doctor girl is the epitome of calm, cool, and corrective. She is always ready, always prepared, always wry with her humor, and always correcting others. Including me. I love her so much, and in fact, I admire almost everything about her, but she has definitely taught me why I as first-born am so annoying. It's that "I know things you don't" air about us first-borns.
Sadly, she is usually right. She knows about biology, and chemistry, and other sciency things. She's a whiz at calculus and she can paint a great room. She is just about perfect, I would say.
Victim 2 is Daughter, 16, now known as: SarcasticBeauty. Yes, you got it again in one. She's gorgeous, and she's sarcastic. It's almost more than I can stand, looking at this one who resembles me, but pretty. She has all the boys calling, and yet, sarcasm prevails and she treats them with disdain. (This is because of CollegeFreshman Boy, more on him later. Maybe.)
Sarcastic Beauty, or Sarcasma for short, is nothing like Doctor Girl. She is not bookish, nor is she calm. She has a loud laugh, and a wide love of people. She's a photographer, and loves to catch those funny expressions people hate to see posted on Facebook. She's never sad or mad for long, which is nice, since she had a very scary heart diagnosis last year, requiring surgery and ongoing care.
Sarcasma is not sporty, but she is usually at every game for every person in every school in the metro. This is because she is afflicted with SocialButterflyitis. We are working with medicine (cold Snapple) and seeking counseling (heavily attend Jerseylicious viewings). But to date, her Butterflyitis is winning.
Sarcasma is trying to earn a driver's license. Watch out world. Especially those of you on the sidewalks, or say, in buildings.
Tomorrow's episode shall feature two or three new victims for introduction...stay tuned!
