It's a thorny topic. The lawyers I know who have dealt with it are not eager to talk about it, but it's an open secret among us. Scandals. They happen. They happen frequently. I don't know about other areas of practice; it seems somehow less likely that say, tax or corporate lawyers end up in the scandal position as often as family law and juvenile law practitioners.
And juvenile and family lawyers might have a different kind of stress. Secondary trauma is very real, and though lawyers wouldn't seem to be as close to most clients as say, social workers or therapists, in some cases we are. And it is certainly true that hearing about so much first hand trauma (abuse, addiction, neglect, sexual wrongs, and so many unbelievable traumas that humans endure) can grow into a mental health issue for anyone, lawyers included.
Secondary trauma is its own mental conundrum, and one that is often ignored until an attorney loses his or her ability to make good decisions. At that point, there is often a scandal, sadly - an attorney might act in ways that worry others, drink too much or take illegal substances, become anxious or depressed, or even consider, attempt or commit suicide. In any other career, these issues might be the subject of gossip, but in a legal career it becomes a scandal (and possibly a bar standing offense) which almost always affects the attorney's reputation. Usually forever.
I don't want to be one of those "my friend heard of" people so let me just admit that I myself suffered some pretty awful depression and anxiety which caused me to lose friends that I once considered close at least in the legal community. Now, most of the real friends remain, and most of my legal community friends are still here. I left a job that was causing me a huge amount of stress, and allowed my health a chance to catch up, since in three years I had e coli, c diff, MRSA, prolonged high risk pregnancy bedrest, a hysterectomy, a broken foot, many blood transfusions and infusions, and numerous other infections and health problems. They seemed too much to bear with a job where things were very - sketchy- and a marriage and new family with its own stresses, and my mind really took a beating.
So, I had something of a mini-scandal in leaving a job within a year of starting, with so many hospitalizations and some trusted people who had their own agendas (not to bag on them too much - some of the agenda was to dump the friend who was sure seeming off with so many hospital and doctor visits). My reputation did suffer, and it has taken and is still taking some time to totally recover. I made some enemies through my erratic absences and others in my tough legal stances (those I don't regret at all!). Every legal community is small, and lawyers with problems, any problems, get known really quickly.
Now, I didn't face bar discipline at all, but I did come to know a few lawyers over the years who did end up somewhere down that road. A friend I graduated with was disbarred, for conduct before she was even a bar member. She's out of the legal community (by force), but she isn't out of the $100K student loans and she has not escaped the endless attacks on her personal reputation, even though she is not anywhere near the legal field. She was disbarred several years ago and yet she is still talked about negatively, her reputation sullied so that she could never reapply for the bar in this state.
Another person I knew, not as well, simply went a bit over the edge, knew she was in need of help, tried to get it from her (county) employer and could not do so without resigning her job. She was not disciplined, but just like me, she was still gossiped about, her reputation bandied about as if she had actually done some disciplinable offense. In fact, she had been in a position of secondary trauma for fifteen years - with no in house or encouraged or provided therapy or other methods of coping. She experienced mental health issues which were not outside of the norm for the kind of delicate and stressful work she did with no breaks in career path. She was an ace lead attorney in a highly contested abuse and neglect court, and now she lives from disability and a few here and there jobs. She got meds and therapy and has a totally healthy life now, but she couldn't get a job anywhere near kids in need ever again - not because of her, but because of her now completely in tatters reputation.
I could go on and on, but it's time for my meditation and my medication, the two ways I am working to stay out of that kind of reputation assault. My health got better after I left the job that felt weird and wired and worrying - a job where other lawyers also agreed all was not ok, lawyers who could not afford to walk away and whom I am still friends with. I am still happily working contract jobs and looking out for kids. My reputation damage was limited in part by my true friends who stopped a couple of rumors from spreading about my health, but in the end, what if I had truly had mental health issues? Why is it so scandlous to need, ask for, and receive mental health treatmnt when we think nothing of getting help for c diff, MRSA, appendicitis, and the like?
And even if the "scandal" is something potentially discplined, why do we have to make it worse with gossip and scandal and reputation besmirching? How does that help the legal profession to be more honorable, how does it help individuals in the system to be better, happier, anything really but just gossips? Thoughts for the day, but not for meditation.
Please leave your comments - I would love a discussion on this topic!
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Things that happen in real court proceedings
1) People cry, or yell (at their lawyer, at other parties, at the judge - you name it!), or stare into space like they don't know they are in court.
2) Parties come to court drunk or high. Yes, this happens, and yes, if I suspect it, I will ask for an immediate, same day, urine drop. And yes, the judge will order it, because believe it or not, we have seen it many times and you aren't fooling us. Those pupils, your breath, your tweaking, the slow response time, and many other involuntary clues give you away.
3) Hearts break - and even though you might not think your judge or the social worker or the GAL or your attorney have emotions, some of us will cry all the way home to release the emotions of participating in your case. We know your heart, or your child's heart, or other parties in your family or close friends are hurting, so we will hold our own emotions until you are gone.
4) You are right that most of the court employees and attorneys know each other. We have lots of cases together, in most cases, and we have relationships outside of the proceedings - sometimes good ones, and sometimes not so good. Sometimes those relationships do affect how cases end up. It should not be that way, but it does happen.
5) The attorneys and sometimes the judges have "gallows humor" privately. It's our way of sloughing off some of the stress that comes with being involved with dozens or hundreds of sad, horrifying, angering or tragic cases. If you happen to see attorneys and judges laughing together, it is not at you - it is at ourselves, really. We are very aware of the heavy role we play in the lives of real people.
6) Many parents or guardians don't have attorneys, and fall into a grey area where they might technically have difficulty getting a court appointed attorney due to owning a house and having a job. Ask the judge or the juvenile officer for a detailed form that also considers your debt, if you want an attorney appointed by the court.
7) On that note, there is a trend I am noticing of people not wanting a court appointed attorney because of the idea that if the attorneys know other attorneys on the case, they won't zealously represent a party they are appointed to. While this might be true occasionally, far more often the attorney having good relationships with other attorneys and court personnel is extremely helpful to the parent or guardian they are representing. If I were a parent involved in an abuse or neglect case, I know who I would want as an attorney and as a guardian ad litem for my kids - and all of those attorneys practice exclusively in the CAN courts, and they know each other and the regular faces quite well. I would never hire an attorney who didn't practice regularly in the CAN courts.
8) Child abuse and neglect cases are a very specialized kind of court proceeding. If a party hasn't been to court before, then it might not be shocking, but for those who have been to court on DUIs, divorces, traffic tickets, and the like, a CAN court can be quite offputting. The rules of evidence are often different, and the cases are often very prolonged, with many hearings through the life of a case. More people talk in our cases, and the judge often directly questions kids and parents about how things are going. As noted above, a party can be ordered to drug and alcohol testing directly from a hearing; some courts have testing available right at court so that it will happen immediatly.
9) Children often attend the hearings. If yours do, please be calm and don't approach them if the court order doesn't allow for it. It will only upset them-and make trouble for you also. Please don't curse or be disruptive, and please remember that your child is stressed and traumatized by this whole ordeal also. Please?
10) Parties come to court dressed in inappropriate clothes, makeup, shoes, hair. This is my last point but it's a crucial one. When you appear in court, you should wear clothing that covers you. No shorts, no sleeveless, no wife beater tanks, no super short skirts, no crazy weird hair or makeup, no slits or cleavage, and no drooping pants. Think church clothing, or something you would go see your grandmother in - anything that helps you choose clothes that won't get you thrown out of court. I have seen people (even my child clients) be removed from court or be taken to the jail to put on jail clothes temporarily so the hearing can go on. If you attend court in a super short skirt and a midriff baring shirt with a spackle of makeup and high high heels, you are sending a message. It may not seem fair, but if you look like that, or you wear a wife beater and droop your pants - it's hard to take you seriously. It's on you to project the image you want us to receive.
2) Parties come to court drunk or high. Yes, this happens, and yes, if I suspect it, I will ask for an immediate, same day, urine drop. And yes, the judge will order it, because believe it or not, we have seen it many times and you aren't fooling us. Those pupils, your breath, your tweaking, the slow response time, and many other involuntary clues give you away.
3) Hearts break - and even though you might not think your judge or the social worker or the GAL or your attorney have emotions, some of us will cry all the way home to release the emotions of participating in your case. We know your heart, or your child's heart, or other parties in your family or close friends are hurting, so we will hold our own emotions until you are gone.
4) You are right that most of the court employees and attorneys know each other. We have lots of cases together, in most cases, and we have relationships outside of the proceedings - sometimes good ones, and sometimes not so good. Sometimes those relationships do affect how cases end up. It should not be that way, but it does happen.
5) The attorneys and sometimes the judges have "gallows humor" privately. It's our way of sloughing off some of the stress that comes with being involved with dozens or hundreds of sad, horrifying, angering or tragic cases. If you happen to see attorneys and judges laughing together, it is not at you - it is at ourselves, really. We are very aware of the heavy role we play in the lives of real people.
6) Many parents or guardians don't have attorneys, and fall into a grey area where they might technically have difficulty getting a court appointed attorney due to owning a house and having a job. Ask the judge or the juvenile officer for a detailed form that also considers your debt, if you want an attorney appointed by the court.
7) On that note, there is a trend I am noticing of people not wanting a court appointed attorney because of the idea that if the attorneys know other attorneys on the case, they won't zealously represent a party they are appointed to. While this might be true occasionally, far more often the attorney having good relationships with other attorneys and court personnel is extremely helpful to the parent or guardian they are representing. If I were a parent involved in an abuse or neglect case, I know who I would want as an attorney and as a guardian ad litem for my kids - and all of those attorneys practice exclusively in the CAN courts, and they know each other and the regular faces quite well. I would never hire an attorney who didn't practice regularly in the CAN courts.
8) Child abuse and neglect cases are a very specialized kind of court proceeding. If a party hasn't been to court before, then it might not be shocking, but for those who have been to court on DUIs, divorces, traffic tickets, and the like, a CAN court can be quite offputting. The rules of evidence are often different, and the cases are often very prolonged, with many hearings through the life of a case. More people talk in our cases, and the judge often directly questions kids and parents about how things are going. As noted above, a party can be ordered to drug and alcohol testing directly from a hearing; some courts have testing available right at court so that it will happen immediatly.
9) Children often attend the hearings. If yours do, please be calm and don't approach them if the court order doesn't allow for it. It will only upset them-and make trouble for you also. Please don't curse or be disruptive, and please remember that your child is stressed and traumatized by this whole ordeal also. Please?
10) Parties come to court dressed in inappropriate clothes, makeup, shoes, hair. This is my last point but it's a crucial one. When you appear in court, you should wear clothing that covers you. No shorts, no sleeveless, no wife beater tanks, no super short skirts, no crazy weird hair or makeup, no slits or cleavage, and no drooping pants. Think church clothing, or something you would go see your grandmother in - anything that helps you choose clothes that won't get you thrown out of court. I have seen people (even my child clients) be removed from court or be taken to the jail to put on jail clothes temporarily so the hearing can go on. If you attend court in a super short skirt and a midriff baring shirt with a spackle of makeup and high high heels, you are sending a message. It may not seem fair, but if you look like that, or you wear a wife beater and droop your pants - it's hard to take you seriously. It's on you to project the image you want us to receive.
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